With care and attention, speaking the quality time love language in a long-distance relationship isn’t too difficult.
According to the Five Love Languages website, “Quality time is giving someone your undivided attention.” In a long-distance relationship, this quality time most often occurs over video and phone calls.
Below are five tips for loving your boyfriend with a quality time love language during your video calls or long-distance dates.
(If you’re new the concept of love languages, read this guide to learn more.)
1. Schedule calls
Scheduling a time to call shows your long-distance boyfriend that you value the time you’ll be spending together. It communicates that quality time with him is a priority for you.
If you establish a regular rhythm in your calls, he will learn when to expect and look forward to talking with you. Creating realistic expectations for calling frequency is helpful for minimizing miscommunication and enduring the sorrow of missing each other.
2. Be completely focused
Before you start your call, put away any possible distractions. Finish up your work, your dinner, and your conversation with your roommate so that you’re not tempted to multi-task.
If you struggle with this, set aside a few minutes before your scheduled call to get ready. Then, when your boyfriend calls, you can start talking immediately instead of scrambling around the kitchen to heat up leftovers.
3. Limit interruptions
Find a quiet space and ask people nearby not to bother you while you’re calling. In most situations, finding an empty room and closing the door is easy enough. It’s the digital interruptions that are more difficult.
When we were long-distance dating, my husband noticed instantly whenever I received a notification on my phone. Even just a few seconds of diverted attention could disrupt our entire conversation and create tension. I learned that I needed to either turn on Do Not Disturb mode or call on my laptop to show him that I valued our time together.
4. Ask good questions
Love languages often have dialects that are slightly different from the “pure” form. For quality time, a common dialect is quality conversation.
The most important way to speak this dialect is starting deep conversations and keeping them going. If you just sit there in silence waiting for your boyfriend to ask you what you ate for lunch, he’ll get frustrated and begin to wonder if you really care about him.
For many people, thinking of good questions is difficult. I’ve written a list of 225 long-distance relationship questions to help you start meaningful, deep conversations.
5. Mix things up
Quality time doesn’t always mean talking. In fact, planning a creative long-distance date can be a great way to show love to a long-distance boyfriend with a quality time love language.
You can play an online game, dress up or choose any of these 16 fun Skype date ideas. If you’re looking for something more romantic, this list of long-distance Valentine’s Day ideas is a good place to start.
The Other Love Languages & Long-Distance Relationships
For tips on speaking the other four main love languages in a long-distance relationship, check out these resources: