The acts of service love language can be challenging to speak in a long-distance relationship.
If you read the Five Love Languages’ website, it gives these acts of service as examples: “Cooking a meal, washing dishes, taking out the garbage, mowing the lawn, changing the baby’s diaper, and painting the bedroom.”
How many of those things can you complete from a distance? Zero. Most of them don’t even apply to a typical dating couple.
I know you’re a resourceful girlfriend, though, and you’re eager to think outside of the box. With planning and imagination, you can show love to your long-distance boyfriend through these five acts of service.
1. Schedule his Saturday
Have you ever noticed that busy people are really bad at relaxing? They often need someone else to remind them it’s okay to take a break.
If your boyfriend has the acts of service love language, consider asking his permission to schedule his Saturday (one when you’re not around).
Fill his day with activities that you know are restful for him, like biking, reading, or streaming video games. If possible, pay for a meal to be delivered to him so that he doesn’t have to worry about making lunch, or, if he likes cooking, schedule in some quality cooking time.
2. Help him with homework
When we were dating long-distance, I often helped my husband edit his writing. During a call, we would open his paper in Google Doc, and I would talk him through revisions. This process eased his stress and showed us how our different skills complement one another.
Whether your talent is geometry, history, or chemistry, you can use your knowledge to serve your boyfriend. However, be careful that this act of service doesn’t turn into you doing his homework for him. Helping him commit academic dishonesty is not loving.
3. Make a meal at his place
When you’re visiting your long-distance boyfriend, you can go out of your way to do something meaningful for him, like cooking a nice dinner.
The best opportunity to do this is when he’s at a meeting or event that you’re not attending. While he’s gone, head to a grocery store and pick up the ingredients.
If you want to make the dinner a surprise, ask one of his roommates to let you into their house so you can prepare the food. Make sure you check if he’s eating at his event, though, and don’t forget to do the dishes afterward.
4. Research something for him
If your long-distance boyfriend is busy with work or school, see if you can help by gathering information for him. Maybe you research a list of scholarships for which he’s eligible or call different stores in his area to see if they have a part or ingredient he needs.
Similar to helping with homework, you don’t want to go overboard and do something that should be his responsibility. However, if your boyfriend is having a particularly stressful week, it doesn’t hurt to ask if there’s anything practical you can do to help.
5. Make breakfast for his roommates
Once while we were dating, my husband woke up early and made pancakes for me and my roommates.
I loved this act of service because he was serving my friends as well as me. It showed me that he cared about the people I cared about, too.
Love is Multi-Lingual
Acts of service isn’t the only love language. Most people respond to multiple types of love.
Learn examples of how you can speak the other love languages to your long-distance boyfriend in these articles:
For a deeper understanding of love languages, see Strengths and Weaknesses of the Five Love Languages.