If you have a friend in a long-distance relationship, you may be wondering how you can best support her. If so, I commend you for your desire to love her well as a friend.
Your friend has likely received a lot of skepticism about her long-distance relationship from others. Perhaps you’re a little skeptical about her relationship, too. That’s alright — it shows you care about your friend and you want the best for her.
While long-distance relationships don’t always work out, many
Here are a few ways you can show support for your friend in a long-distance relationship and point her towards Christ.
1. Pray for your friend.
The best thing you can do for your friend is call out to God on her behalf. Pray that God uses this relationship to strengthen her joy and trust in Christ. Pray against sexual sin and pray for purity of mind, heart, and body. Pray for safety as she travels when she drives crazy long distances to see him. Pray that their relationship would reflect Christ’s love to those around them. Pray for wisdom and discernment as she considers the future.
2. Let your friend know it’s okay to be sad sometimes.
Acknowledge that long-distance sucks. Let her know that missing her boyfriend is not necessarily a sin. Create space for her to be able to cry with you, and maybe even cry with her (Romans 12:15). Show her that you care about her sorrow.
3. Ask intentional questions about your friend’s relationship.
Don’t assume the relationship is healthy, and don’t assume it is unhealthy. Before making a judgment or giving advice, make sure you have asked her lots of questions and have listened well. Asking questions out of genuine compassion and curiosity can be a non-confrontational way to help her become aware of possible sins and blind spots. Some example questions include:
- What role does God play in your relationship?
- Where do you see your relationship in two years?
- What does purity look like for you guys?
- Where do you see evidence that your boyfriend is pursuing the Lord as he pursues you?
4. Ask your friend how her boyfriend is doing.
This simple act will encourage her because it shows that you remember she has a boyfriend — something many other people probably forget. It also gives her an opportunity to talk about how their relationship has been going.
5. Help your friend fight sin.
If she asks you to keep her accountable in anything, follow through and ask her specific questions about those areas of weakness. Allow her the freedom to confess her sin to you, and pray for her when she does (James 5:16).
6. Make an effort to get to know your friend’s boyfriend.
It will mean a lot to your friend if you take time to get to know her boyfriend as a friend. You don’t need to be weird about it and become his bestie, but it doesn’t hurt to learn a little about the guy your friend cares about so much.
7. Rejoice with your friend when she sees her boyfriend.
Few things will make your friend happier than seeing her boyfriend after a long time apart, so celebrate with her (Romans 12:15)! Get excited and show it through encouraging words, smiles and hugs. You’ll increase her joy even more when she sees you sharing it.
As someone who is now married to the man she dated long-distance, I am incredibly thankful that God surrounded me with amazing friends early in our relationship. My friends are the reason I was able to make this list because they did all these things for me, and it impacted me greatly.
If you have a friend in a long-distance relationship and you took the time to read this article, I thank God that she has you in her life. If you want to encourage your friend with Christ-centered advice, here are some resources to share with her: