A Long-Distance Relationship Prayer of Lament

During the second year of our long-distance relationship, I became bitterly angry with God.

As we approached yet another Valentine’s Day apart, the pain of missing each other was tearing us apart inside. Our video calls were ending with weeping, and I felt the winter outside my window settling upon my hope in Christ.

I didn’t want to seek God, but I knew I needed to meet Him in my anger. I remember my roommate getting ready for bed at midnight and asking if I was staying up to do homework, and replying, “No, but I think I need to work some things out with God.”

Lamentations 3 was where God met me, and it was there we wrestled in prayer.

By 2 a.m., God had both challenged and comforted me, and I was seriously humbled. I can’t explain why or how, but when I finished praying, God had turned my angry emptiness into joyful fulfillment in Christ. My pain didn’t vanish, but God gave me the peace and perspective to press on.

I long for you to share this peace, so I’ve written this long-distance relationship prayer based on the Biblical passage God used to shape my heart that night.

Before you read and pray this prayer, study Lamentations 3. Jeremiah’s lament deals with the difficult truth of God’s sovereignty in our suffering as he mourns over the destruction of the city of Jerusalem and its people. His grief is raw, but his hope is real.

That hope remains for you, too. I pray this prayer guides you to it.

A Long-Distance Relationship Prayer of Lament

Oh Lord,

I am weary. I am tired. I am angry.

I don’t understand why You have kept me away from someone I love so immensely. I don’t understand why this horrible separation drags on and on.

I know that you are good to those who wait for You, but I am struggling to believe anything good can come from this. This pain feels too severe, too cruel to be worth the results. My endurance and my hope have faded into oblivion. Where are you, God?

My memory is all too familiar with this suffering, and I am crushed underneath its weight.

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: Your steadfast love never ceases. Your mercies never come to an end — they are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness.

You are near when my boyfriend is distant. You are faithful though I am faithless.

Though my heart cries out and criticizes You, I will trust with my mind that this suffering will not last forever, for you are a compassionate God. I will find comfort in the fact that you do not delight in seeing me suffer, for affliction does not come from your heart.

How can I complain of this suffering, God? In the deepest part of my heart I know I am a sinner, and I do not deserve anything but your wrath. And yet you have loved me. Yet you have given me a man who loves me. Yet you hear my prayers. Why am I so selfish?

You are my portion, oh God. You alone can satisfy the longings of my heart. How quick I am to forget this, how eager to place all my hope in a man.

Forgive me for demanding your blessings, as if You owe me a peaceful and happy dating relationship. Forgive me for failing to see that the knowledge of You is the most precious gift that can come from this struggle.

Let me return to You and let me seek You. Silence my grumbling heart and help me to wait quietly for your salvation. Anchor my wandering heart in Your steadfast love.

May this yoke upon my soul discipline me to always walk in your ways. May this season of lament teach me to turn to You in every circumstance.

I will put my hope in You, even when my heart cannot hold fast. You are my God, and I will worship you in this spiritual winter.

In Jesus’ holy name,

Amen

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